So, I have been gone for a while because I went to another country to study with a teacher. This teacher was new to me and boasts a high reputation, as some of the students are singing in the world's leading opera houses.
It was a great experience for me, since I discovered once again how important it is to trust yourself and follow your instincts when it comes to singing. I took one lesson with this teacher, was asked to stay and watch 2 other voice students after the lesson. At this point I must add that the teacher was not at all interested in my voice. All that was requested of me was to execute some very different exercises. I felt like I couldn't impress, no, I had to be impressed by this retired songbird.
So, without having sung my presence at the next two lessons was requested. I think this is where the 2 big mistakes lie.
1. If a person comes from far away to study with you, let them at least sing their voice a little.
2. One shouldn't try to show off with one's students, if one doesn't really know who one is dealing with.
Anyway...I stayed, listened, and was shocked. These students were singing their guts out in a grotesque "loud or bust" fashion. I am a firm believer of building the voice with special exercises and sometimes singing an aria even louder than required, just to get the evenness and power in the voice. But this was ridiculous. Not only were my ears ringing in an uncomfortable pain zone but the arias were literally butchered to death. I was so baffled and even felt bad for one of the singers, as her voice might have had some special beauty to it, besides being a remarkable instrument. But the screaming killed any sprout of musicianship. I must say the whole ex-career "I used to be a hot shot" environment did. Yuck!
Of course I cancelled the rest of my booked lessons and was stuck in the place I was staying, since booking a new flight was financially out of the question. This was extremely good for me. Forced vacation is what I called it. I really decompressed and thought about many things.
One thing is how much LOVE has to be involved in singing. I really felt like one builds up a love and trust relationship with one's instrument. I am working on that. The whole week I didn't get to practice much and did some psychological work instead. Trusting an instrument like trusting the keys of a piano... It is a whole different attitude. Building up a relationship of trust, that the instrument will work and that I know how to play it.
Another thing is the whole issue (see, now even this term is dubious) of FEAR.
I figure this instinct is the one that transcended into emotional territory, only to make us despise it.
Fear can't help that it's there. Once, as we were animal-near creatures, fear was a great tool in keeping out of physical trouble. Without the instinct of fear, we as a species might not have survived.
But the tricky part is when fear emigrates to emotional territory. We fear abstract things that in turn feel very real to us, like shame, embarrassment, emotional weakness, emotional nakedness.
So I decided to embrace fear as a part of me and of humanity.
The results of this week of meditation is that I sing much better :) It's true. I trust my voice and I think of fear as apart of everything now, keeping me out of trouble and showing me what emotional challenges I have not yet conquered in this lifetime.
I listened and especially watched Cecilia Bartoli during this week. Her voice couldn't be more different from mine. But it's so extremely inspiring how she plays her instrument, trusts it, and lets her emotions and musicianship flow. And she is very intelligent. This is from her Sacrificium DVD (youtube).
So my advice to all of you battling with performing hang-ups: Do a week of forced vacation and THINK!!!
Who ever said singers don't need a brain? The brain is very useful when you use it in a positive way. It has the ability to analyze what is going on emotionally and to set you free. Turn it around and it can seduce you into negative thoughts and consequently emotions.
I love my brain and will from now on train it more strictly to be a positive tool in this life. If negative thoughts creep up I will try to be tolerant toward them, knowing that they don't posess the power of growth and change but not beating myself up about having them.
It was a great experience for me, since I discovered once again how important it is to trust yourself and follow your instincts when it comes to singing. I took one lesson with this teacher, was asked to stay and watch 2 other voice students after the lesson. At this point I must add that the teacher was not at all interested in my voice. All that was requested of me was to execute some very different exercises. I felt like I couldn't impress, no, I had to be impressed by this retired songbird.
So, without having sung my presence at the next two lessons was requested. I think this is where the 2 big mistakes lie.
1. If a person comes from far away to study with you, let them at least sing their voice a little.
2. One shouldn't try to show off with one's students, if one doesn't really know who one is dealing with.
Anyway...I stayed, listened, and was shocked. These students were singing their guts out in a grotesque "loud or bust" fashion. I am a firm believer of building the voice with special exercises and sometimes singing an aria even louder than required, just to get the evenness and power in the voice. But this was ridiculous. Not only were my ears ringing in an uncomfortable pain zone but the arias were literally butchered to death. I was so baffled and even felt bad for one of the singers, as her voice might have had some special beauty to it, besides being a remarkable instrument. But the screaming killed any sprout of musicianship. I must say the whole ex-career "I used to be a hot shot" environment did. Yuck!
Of course I cancelled the rest of my booked lessons and was stuck in the place I was staying, since booking a new flight was financially out of the question. This was extremely good for me. Forced vacation is what I called it. I really decompressed and thought about many things.
One thing is how much LOVE has to be involved in singing. I really felt like one builds up a love and trust relationship with one's instrument. I am working on that. The whole week I didn't get to practice much and did some psychological work instead. Trusting an instrument like trusting the keys of a piano... It is a whole different attitude. Building up a relationship of trust, that the instrument will work and that I know how to play it.
Another thing is the whole issue (see, now even this term is dubious) of FEAR.
I figure this instinct is the one that transcended into emotional territory, only to make us despise it.
Fear can't help that it's there. Once, as we were animal-near creatures, fear was a great tool in keeping out of physical trouble. Without the instinct of fear, we as a species might not have survived.
But the tricky part is when fear emigrates to emotional territory. We fear abstract things that in turn feel very real to us, like shame, embarrassment, emotional weakness, emotional nakedness.
The results of this week of meditation is that I sing much better :) It's true. I trust my voice and I think of fear as apart of everything now, keeping me out of trouble and showing me what emotional challenges I have not yet conquered in this lifetime.
I listened and especially watched Cecilia Bartoli during this week. Her voice couldn't be more different from mine. But it's so extremely inspiring how she plays her instrument, trusts it, and lets her emotions and musicianship flow. And she is very intelligent. This is from her Sacrificium DVD (youtube).
So my advice to all of you battling with performing hang-ups: Do a week of forced vacation and THINK!!!
Who ever said singers don't need a brain? The brain is very useful when you use it in a positive way. It has the ability to analyze what is going on emotionally and to set you free. Turn it around and it can seduce you into negative thoughts and consequently emotions.
I love my brain and will from now on train it more strictly to be a positive tool in this life. If negative thoughts creep up I will try to be tolerant toward them, knowing that they don't posess the power of growth and change but not beating myself up about having them.
No comments:
Post a Comment